Techno Dad Life has a posted very detailed instruction videos in Youtube. I used it to setup my home server.
I have more modest goals than you do, ie:
Media Server using miniDLNA (Kodi clients)
File Server and data storage (one IDE drive for the OS + eight Sata drives for data)
Flexible raid: Unionfs filesystem with Snapraid
Backup to external USB drive
"I have messed around with linux in the past but not much and this is my first time running a headless os dont quite know what i can and cant do."
Shell-in-a-box will allow you to run the Terminal without having to use a separate monitor.
"I have a new CPU and more RAM on the way, will i have to do anything before or after i install them?"
If it's the same motherboard, you should be able to do it either way.