Thanks for the ideas, Adoby. I was able to use AOMEI Partition Assistant (free) to format the drive in about 10 seconds from my Windows 10 machine and mount it within OMV. I can read/write files to it via Windows File Explorer, so it's working the way it should, except performance is incredibly spotty, going from 112MB/s (nearly the full bandwidth of the Ethernet cable) down to a few KB/s. Could be temperature-related, though I had no similar problem with my HDD. Still, the console is showing an under-voltage error (I'm using a 3A supply as recommended; guess I should get a bigger one) and three EXT4-fs errors (a "Journal has aborted" and two "IO failures").
The drive enclosure I'm using claims to support UAS, but I'll pick up one of the Startechs, as well as a FLIRC (as my Pi is buried in a block of walnut I made for aesthetics rather than performance (for another project)), as that seems to be a known good configuration, per your experience.